What Have I Got to Say?

Exploring is dangerous and selfish stuff.

So dangerous and so selfish I don’t want to be “public” yet.

It’s dangerous because there’s no guarantee you will be right.  Or that you won’t look like a fool.  Or even hurt people you love very much, simply by showing an interest in things that maybe they think you shouldn’t notice or care about.

• My kids are hurt (sort of) when I won’t let them see a movie with me (Latest example: Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  They freaked out at the end of the latest VeggieTales.  That’s all the evidence I need they’re not ready for a sea serpent.)
• My husband was hurt when I told him I was seriously considering the Catholic Church.

After a hurt silence he told me, “What I want  to do is say Don’t let the door hit you in the butt.”

Two days later I asked him if he was done being mad at me.  He looked surprised. “I’ve been done this whole time.”

“What about kicking me out?” I asked.

“It was just the first thing I felt.  Not the thing I’d do.  It’s wrong.”

Strike-One against my own patience.  Want to guess how much anxiety I wouldn’t have carried if I’d cared less for his feelings?

Anyway, I expect this blog to be a place to practice what I want to say, until it is formed fully enough to be a coherent defense. Coherence is good, right?